


Please Don't Hate Me

by syriala



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misconception, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 00:39:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17314802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala/pseuds/syriala
Summary: “Sorry, I just noticed how much you remind me of Talia,” Satomi said and suddenly everything made so much more sense.Oh, Derek thought,oh,and he ducked his head, trying to hide the no doubt hurt look that flashed over his face.It must have worked too, because Satomi smiled at him like what she had said was a good thing, like this was something he should be glad to hear, when all Derek could think wasAt least Peter didn’t leave me without a reason.





	Please Don't Hate Me

“Sorry, I just noticed how much you remind me of Talia,” Satomi said and suddenly everything made so much more sense.

Oh, Derek thought, _oh,_ and he ducked his head, trying to hide the no doubt hurt look that flashed over his face.

It must have worked too, because Satomi smiled at him like what she had said was a good thing, like this was something he should be glad to hear, when all Derek could think was _At least Peter didn’t leave me without a reason_.

~*~*~

_I’m sorry I remind you so much of her_ , Derek texted Peter later that night, when he was in the loft again, alone, like he had been since Peter had left.

Derek still didn’t know where Peter was, or what he was doing. He only knew that Peter never stayed and that he was never around Derek for longer than he absolutely had to.

It made sense now, at least.

Derek startled badly when his phone suddenly rang. Peter had been ignoring his texts for some time now, and eventually Derek had stopped trying. He could take a hint, after all, even if he sometimes was slow on the up-take.

“You’re sorry you remind me so much of who?” Peter asked as soon as Derek had accepted the call, not even bothering with any pleasantries.

“Talia. I know I remind you of her, and that it’s the reason you can’t stay. That it’s the reason you—,” _can’t love me like you used to_ , Derek wanted to say but he bit down on those words. Because honestly, there was a whole list of reasons to pick from why Peter didn’t love him anymore, and Derek was too tired to have them all thrown into his face.

There was a telling silence on the other end of the line, and Derek looked down, biting his lip hard, so that he wouldn’t let out the desperate whine as soon as Peter started talking again. He just hoped that Peter would go with this reason to explain his continued absence and not start telling Derek all the other reasons he hated him now. It would be too much for Derek to take.

“I’m coming home,” Peter finally said, and promptly hung up on Derek, who stared at his phone for a long while afterwards.

He hadn’t known Peter still considered anything in Beacon Hills his home.

~*~*~

Derek was _not_ impatiently waiting for Peter to come back. He had no clue where Peter had even been, so he didn’t know how long it would take him to come back, and he most certainly wasn’t always in view of the loft door.

Derek had tried to imagine what would happen once Peter did come back, and while before it had always ended with them being together again, he didn’t know what to expect now. He didn’t know why Peter would be coming back now after that phone call, what exactly motivated him, and so Derek had a thousand different scenarios to cycle through.

And yet nothing prepared him for that moment when Peter strolled into the loft, like it was his home, and he had never left for weeks on end.

“Peter,” Derek breathed out, too relieved to see him alive and well to be embarrassed by the needy note in his voice.

“What is going on?” Peter asked, demanded to know really, and Derek briefly had to smile at the lack of greetings from him.

“There’s no catastrophe at the moment,” Derek told him, even though he knew that wasn’t what Peter wanted to hear.

But Peter had sounded angry, and his voice had been hard, where it used to be all soft and gentle when he talked to Derek, and Derek wasn’t ready to have the reasons why Peter hated him listed. He never would be, and he wanted to drag it out for as long as he could. At least like this, in this limbo state, he could still pretend.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” Peter snapped, but then he seemed to deflate. “Tell me what that phone call was about. Where did that come from?”

Derek clenched his jaw and straightened his shoulders before he spoke, raising his head high, so that Peter couldn’t see how much he just wanted to curl up and maybe cry a bit.

He missed Peter so much.

“Satomi was here,” he started, and he could see recognition on Peter’s face. “She told me how much I remind her of Talia. And—,” here Derek faltered, because it just _hurt so much_ , “I know you hated her, so it’s not hard to make the connection.”

Derek couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, _It’s not hard to make the connection that you hate me too_ , not to Peter’s face when he would have to see the truth there. Derek wasn’t strong enough to do that.

“What connection, pup?” Peter gently asked, and Derek briefly wondered when Peter became so cruel.

“Don’t make me say it,” he chocked out and Peter frowned at him, concern clear on his face and Derek could feel himself shatter under that look, could feel the words spill over.

“I know you hate me too, know that it’s the reason you leave, you always leave, because you can’t bear to be around me, can’t bear to look at me when I look so much like the sister you hate, but it’s not my fault, and I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to change how I look and I—,” Derek gasped for breath, could feel tears threaten to spill over and he ducked his head, trying to hide it from Peter.

But Peter was there, pulling him into a hug and shushing him, stroking his big warm hands up and down his back and Derek clung to him, desperate to keep him from leaving again.

“I don’t hate you, Derek, I could never hate you,” Peter whispered into his hair when he had stopped trembling quite so hard, and Derek couldn’t help but to scoff at that.

“I don’t, darling, listen to my heartbeat,” he insisted and waited a few moments until Derek nodded, signaling that he was listening, even though he really didn’t want to, and then Peter said it again. “I don’t hate you.”

Derek’s knees almost buckled when he heard Peter’s steady heartbeat, when he heard no lie in his words, but the relief was immediately washed away by confusion.

“Then why do you always leave me?” Derek asked, and his voice wobbled dangerously, but he couldn’t help it.

Peter always left, always left him alone, and he hadn’t so much as touched Derek the last time he had dropped by. There weren’t a whole lot of interpretations to that.

“I was looking for an alpha,” Peter said, and Derek was suddenly too numb to be hurt by that as well.

Peter was looking for a new pack without him.

Derek chuckled, because it should have been obvious. Peter would never submit to Scott as his alpha, and being an omega wasn’t doing either of them any good. Of course Peter was looking for a pack somewhere else, far away from Beacon Hills and Derek.

But still. Derek had never questioned the fact that they were pack, even when he thought Peter hated him, so having this slapped into his face. There was only so much he could take.

“Of course,” Derek muttered and pulled away from Peter, wrapping his arms around himself, though there wasn’t a whole lot left to keep together.

Derek was losing his family all over again.

“Of course,” Derek repeated, and he distantly realized that his voice was horribly flat. “I wish you luck with that.”

It was all he could say to Peter, was all he could muster up right now, and he was painfully aware of Peter’s searching gaze on him.

Derek wondered what else Peter wanted; he had already taken everything from him.

“I’m looking for an alpha to kill, Derek,” Peter softly whispered. “Not to join.”

Derek wasn’t sure he had heard him right, now with how the sudden rush in his ears almost drowned out his words, and he swayed forwards, to Peter, always to Peter.

“I would never leave you, darling. You’re my only family,” Peter said and cupped Derek’s cheeks with his hands.

Derek was dangerously close to getting whiplash if Peter kept this up, but before he could say something, Peter went on.

“You’re my love, my heart, my everything. I’ve been looking for an alpha to kill so that we can leave, so that we can be a proper pack again.”

“Why didn’t you say so,” Derek desperately whispered, because Peter had never explained, had only always left Derek behind, and this now was almost too much to comprehend and believe for Derek right now.

Peter kissed the corners of Derek’s eyes, where tears had escaped, and Derek whined high in his throat at that.

“That was my mistake,” Peter admitted. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you my plan, but I was afraid you would frown upon murder.”

There was a hint of a joke in his voice and Derek chuckled wetly at it, too, but he also tightened his grip on Peter’s wrists, and pressed their foreheads together. He didn’t want Peter to leave, ever.

“I love you, sweetheart. I always have, and I always will.”

“But the resemblance—,” Derek started but then trailed off, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know if Peter had a hard time looking at him.

“I honestly never noticed,” Peter reassured him. “Sure, you have the same dark hair as your mother, but that’s about it. You’re _nothing_ like her.”

Derek had been carrying that worry with him all this time, ever since Satomi had mentioned it to him, and he felt blessedly weightless now that Peter had dispelled it.

“Promise me you won’t leave again,” Derek whispered, still desperate to keep Peter with him, to keep him close and never let him leave.

Peter pulled him flush against his body, wrapping his arms around Derek and keeping him there. Derek pressed his face to his neck, inhaling deeply when he noticed the softly sweet note of Peter’s love for him.

“I won’t, I promise you, pup. We’ll leave together, and we’ll find somewhere else to live and to be happy,” Peter said, and Derek clutched at his sides.

“I love you so much,” Derek breathed, and Peter slid one hand into Derek’s hair, scratching his nails over his scalp.

“I love you, too,” Peter immediately answered, even though he had just said it a few moments ago, but Derek was far from complaining. He wanted to hear it again and again, for the rest of his life.

“I’m sorry I ever made you doubt that,” Peter gently said, and Derek could hear the regret in his voice, knew it to be true from his steady heartbeat.

Peter had never meant to hurt him.

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” Derek replied, and Peter used the hand in his hair to pull his head back a little bit, pressing little kisses all over his face.

He lingered, when he finally reached Derek’s lips, pressed a second, third, fourth kiss there, always keeping it soft and gentle, and Derek sighed into the contact.

He had missed this; had missed Peter and their closeness and his touch and his love.

“I’ve got you,” Peter whispered right before he kissed Derek again, parting his lips this time and licking into his mouth.

Derek clutched at Peter’s shoulders, overwhelmed with _Peter_ and he whined high in his throat when Peter pulled away.

“We have time, I’m right here,” Peter reassured him, sliding their cheeks together and just breathing for a second.

Derek breathed with him, noticing how fast and unsteady his breaths were, how his hands were shaking where they were still holding on to Peter.

“I’m pretty sure I have emotional whiplash,” Derek muttered after a few minutes of enjoying Peter’s closeness.

“I think so, too,” Peter said, smile audible in his voice. “I hear the cure for that can be cuddling.”

Derek immediately nodded, because cuddling sounded perfect. He wasn’t sure he could take anything more today, and he was glad Peter seemed to pick up on that.

“Come on, my heart,” Peter said and brushed his lips over Derek’s one last time, before he pulled away and steered Derek towards his bedroom.

Derek went easily, already looking forward to having his space smell like _them_ again, without having to fear that it would fade over time.

Derek was sure Peter wouldn’t let it.


End file.
